My Time Among the Humans

     I am an explorer; an observer. I come from nowhere, and I belong elsewhere. I have seen many worlds, many strange, and fantastic things. I've witnessed the birth of stars, and singing oceans made of glass. My travels have taken me through the crushing depths of black holes, and to the outer reaches of conscious thought, where the thin lines that bind individual plains blur. However, in all my long journey, never have I come upon a more troublesome species than the humans. 

     Never have I seen a race with such grand potential unrealized. They live on a world they have forgotten they are a part of. Their capacity for creation is limitless, yet they bind themselves with fear. They crave one another, yet isolate themselves. Each is connected, and bound to the next, yet they have convinced themselves that they are separate. In my time spent observing them, I have watched self-imposed limitation overwhelm individuals, and spread, like bacteria, through the population via this absurdly ignored connection. 

     I have witnessed many awesome powers of the universe; forces that bend time and space, and have seen, perhaps, the most terrible, and beautiful of these forces is the human capacity for love.

     It is an immense binding, creative force, misunderstood, and taken for granted by a race to which it comes so naturally. Never has any power been more desired, and more feared. 

     Each individual, unique in so many ways, is the same in this: The drive to be seen, and understood, and loved without condition. The complexities of this phenomenon are so natural and simple at the core that they are born directly into their young. 

     Human children are truly remarkable in their genuine ability to wield this immense power with ease, and grace. Time and again imposed restriction, confusion, and insecurity stunt its nurture and growth. Eventually they forget what once came so naturally. 

     Human history has shown that, with each new generation come great minds endeavoring to guide this confused species in the right direction; and with each generation they are ignored, oppressed, harassed, eventually destroyed often by those closest to them. 

     Fear runs wild in these beings, fed by misunderstanding, and misconception. They fear each other, they fear themselves. They fear what they do not understand, and they fear understanding the misunderstood. Fear continuously thwarts the simple concept of love that, if only truly understood, would thrust the human race to the highest tiers of enlightenment, and if ignored will be their ultimate destruction.

     My time among the humans has been bittersweet. They are a supreme race, and It is my sincere desire, to see fear cast aside, and watch acceptance and love of themselves and one another lift them to their fullest potential. I have been privileged to witness them for a time, but it is clear I was not made for this world. I leave the humans, for now, with my hope, and my pity.

     I am a traveller; an observer, and there is much yet to be seen.

Backward Glance

Every so often I catch a glimpse of the world the way I used to see it. God it was beautiful. If you could see things through my eyes back then, it would take your breath away.

Relationships

      Someone please explain to me why we all put so much stock into relationships?  In the past year alone I've watched as friends have turned their backs on one another, some of the most decent people in the world cheated on by the one person they were supposed to be able to trust. Seen people lie about terminal illness for attention, I've seen people smothered by a controlling and overbearing spouse. I've been bystander to a relationship that can't last for more than a month at a time, and marriage is considered as though it could actually work.   I've seen people that I care about turn suddenly and claim I am completely to blame, while saying 'it takes two' in the same breath. Even my closest friends ignore me and then say I've abandoned them. Come to think of it I haven't seen much to give me faith in this relationship thing. I feel quite disassociated, even jaded by it all.
       I find myself almost going out of my way to avoid any real interaction at all.  Before I leave my apartment I plug into my Ipod in a very successful effort at keeping myself distant from the people I might have some contact with. Unplugging only to find out how much I owe for my groceries.  I tend to feel that there is a pattern associated with relationships.  Let's say it begins with friendship.  Friendship leads to love, be it platonic or romantic. Love leads to attachment. Attachment leads to expectations, regardless of how hard you try to avoid them, expectations always seem to find their way in. Expectations lead to disappointment. Disappointment leads to pain, and resentment. Resentment may or may not lead to hate but it generally all ends with apathy.
       We all have our own methods of dealing with this, because we've all experienced it before. Some of us just bounce from person to person trying to keep from getting in too deep.  Some sabotage themselves at the first sign of trouble, some will lie for whatever attention they can get, and some will take whatever is in front of them just because it's there. Some of us jealously guard what we have to the point of suffocation, and others of us jade, and seclude ourselves to avoid the whole damn process altogether. Yet as miserable as the whole thing is, we seem to crave it. As proof there are thousands of different love songs dedicated to every stage of the process. 
       I submit that every one of us is an addict. Even with my perpetually jaded, and guarded perspective I find myself craving real companionship, and anyone that tells you they don't is lying. Love is a chemical reaction. It's powerful, mind-altering even. We all crave it, and we all do this same dance, and go to ridiculous lengths to get it. The whole thing is irrational and frustrating. I suppose my conclusion is that love, or any interaction on an emotional level, is an addiction, and we are all stupid for it. Now if you'll excuse me I have some indifference and disinterest to attend to. I think the hipster scene may be working out for me. 

So this is growing up?

Today is simply beautiful. The air is clean, the sun is warm and gentle, the smell of fresh cut grass fills my nose, and there is such a soothing melody of birds singing, and cars passing by. As I sit here and revel in the beauty of the moment, I can't help but think back to the past. Not so long ago, but still, almost a different lifetime altogether. I won't say that things were easier, or even better then. Just different. A time when the most important things on my mind were, "What's everyone doing after work?" and "Am I ready for this show tonight?" There was no concern that bills needed to be paid, there was no worry that people would leave and things would change. All that mattered was today, everything was simply okay. I was okay. Now I find myself with so many concerns. I worry about money now, and the dynamics of relationships I once thought unshakable are changing. I'm Changing.

My life now is not bad. Good things are happening, yet I find myself aching at times for the life that I had. These thoughts find me at an impasse. What to do with these feelings? Do I box them up and put them away? Forget the past and look to the future? Do I hold on to the memories of people and places that brought me so much joy although they've likely forgotten me? I know there is nothing to dwelling on the past, but I don't believe we can just let it go.

There was a time that these feelings were overwhelming it was almost crushing. The way that I longed for things to be the way that they were. But I've learned that just as things around us change so to do we, and eventually you learn to rely on the constants.

For instance; I know that there will always be days so gorgeous that just being able to sit outside is fulfilling. I know that every year the snow melts and and the grass turns green again, and that, eventually, the air will turn cold and the leaves will turn brilliant gold and red, and I know that all of these things will fill me with so many memories and feelings it can be difficult to contain. Joy, love for people that have touched me, happiness for being able to take part in this beauty, excitement at the prospect of new memories, even regret and a small ache for times and friendships past. I know that things will always change but this is not a bad thing. It will bring us new constants to hold to.

Yesterday will always be there, and Tomorrow always comes.

Today is simply beautiful.

I believe, Aang can save the world. . .

Long ago the four nations lived in harmony. Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked. . .

I've decided that my first real post should be about something that I love so much it should be embarrassing. . .

Avatar: The Last Airbender!

Now I know what you're thinking no one my age should love a kids show as much as I love this, but it's pretty much the best thing since sliced bread. I have to say I am a huge sucker for the martial arts, and the idea of using martial arts to control the elements; well I didn't stand a chance I was suckered in.

At first I went in with the attitude that I usually have with martial arts films (and cartoons for that matter) - decent action sub par story and acting. I was so wrong. As I started watching this show it became apparent the the writers really had a vision. They saw the end from the beginning and they stuck to it. The part that really has me hooked is the story, and script. It has every element that I wanted from a show like this when I was a kid, and it's so well written that I can appreciate it as an adult. There are parts that really had me in tears it was so funny, then there are other parts that honestly make you sad, or angry. For the lack of actual acting there is really excellent character development, they do a great job of pulling you in, and connecting you to the cast.

Then there is the 'cinematography' (if you can call it that) I found myself forgetting that this was a hand drawn cartoon that I was watching and in fact not filmed with a camera. The 'shots' are so well thought out and executed, and coupled with some awesome 'blocking' and kick butt marital arts (bending) this show has all the elements of a great movie. Of course keeping in mind the fact that it was made as a kids show on Nickelodeon. . .

Most people I know that haven't seen it think I'm completely retarded, and not everyone that I've shown is a fanatic like me but, I have yet to see someone who didn't like it. So I invite everyone who reads this (meaning the two people that will stumble on here by accident) to watch and partake in the sheer goodness that is Avatar The Last Airbender, Because I believe Aang can save the world!

Here it is

Well I've gone and done it. I made a blog, I never thought that it would actually happen, so we'll see how this ends up. Who knows? Maybe I'll eventually have something important to say.